Mom Quotes

My kids will walk right past their father sitting on the couch and come bang on the shower door for me to open a fruit snack.

The phrase "working mother" is redundant. Jane Sellman

Nothing is really lost until Mom can't find it.

I live in a madhouse run by a tiny army that I made myself.

The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn't finish.  Carrie Underwood

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then, I want to move in with them.  Phyllis Diller

Any mother could do the job of several air traffic controllers with ease.  Lisa Alther

I've conquered a lot of things... blood clots in my lungs – twice... knee and foot surgeries... winning Grand Slams being down match point... to name just a few, but I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller!  Serena Williams

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? Milton Berle

No one told me I would be coming home in diapers too.  Chrissy Teigen

There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it.  Chinese Proverb

Mom, I love you, even though I'll never accept your friend request.  

I always say if you aren't yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them.  Reese Witherspoon

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. I enjoy trips to the bathroom alone and silence.

I don't want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like my husband.

Toddler (n). Emotionally unstable pint-sized dictator with the uncanny ability to know exactly how far to push you towards utter insanity before reverting to a lovable creature.

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.  Lane Olinghouse

Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious.

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